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Show Notes:

Opening Question…

How do you deal with conflict in your family? Are you a calming force or a force to be reckoned with? Do you escalate disagreements or de-escalate them? My wife and I had a disagreement….
Talking Points:
 
  1. Conflict is inevitable (it’s not when but how you lead in it)
    1. Misunderstandings
    2. Selfishness
    3. Differences of opinion
  2. Conflict is an opportunity (humble or proud)
“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” Ronald Reagan
    1. It’s not about whose right, but rather what’s effective
    2. What outcome do you want?
    3. Leadership means influencing that outcome
  1. Conflict will make or break your family (Relief or pain, which will you choose?)
HOW TO RUIN A CONFLICT and CREATE DIVISION
  • Steam roll your spouse, child, family member
  • Put on your Judge’s robe-Interrupt constantly (this lets the person know you don’t care about what they have to say)
  • Become a broken record and restate your perspective over and over again
  • Start yelling
  • Walk out – impossible to move forward if you’re not there
  • Play History Buff
  • Use insults
  • Use Hyperbolic phrases like “Always and Never”
HOW TO SAVE A CONFLICT and CREATE UNITY (AGREEMENT)
Three steps to take in a conflict with your spouse (or co-worker)
LEAD IN THE DIRECTION OF RESOLVE
  1. Seek first to understand, then be understood (Steven Covey) Find the real meaning behind it!!
  2. Validate the feelings of the person you offended (You’re saying ______________________ and I can see how that would be hurtful, offensive, rude, etc.”
  3. Ask for forgiveness 
Personal Application
 
  • Are you a Steam Roller or a Listener? Are you seeking first to understand?
  • Do you validate the feelings of your spouse, child, family member?
  • Do you humble yourself, say your sorry, and ask forgiveness?

Closing Thought:

As a leader, it’s your responsibility to guid a disagreement toward peace and unity in your family.

As a leader, it's your responsibility to guid a disagreement toward peace and unity in your family. Click To Tweet