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John Maxwell Quotes from Winning With People
John Maxwell: The Hammer Principle
“Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someone’s head” – John Maxwell
John Maxwell gives tips on how to react in tough situations. This episode is adapted from John Maxwell’s book Winning with People.
Question: Would others say I overreact to small things in a relationship?
Personal story on marriage – Just this morning…how we react to one another is the key!
Four T’s to remember:
- Total Picture (ask questions and listen) DON’T JUMP IN!
- Timing: When to say or not say something is key
- Tone: How you say what you say makes all the difference “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”(Proverbs)
- Temperature: Avoid raising the temperature in a conflict – the 30 second rule
Here’s a few tips on how to use a velvet glove rather than a hammer:
- Let the past stay in the past. No History majors please.
- Ask yourself: Is my reaction part of the problem?
- Remember that actions are remembered long after the words are forgotten (graduation commencement speech, wedding vows). People remember what it’s like to be around you.
- Never let the situation mean more than the relationship.
- Let Love guide you.
- Admit wrongs and ask forgiveness.
Goldsmith’s advice is this: “Let your colleagues hold the mirror and tell you what they see. If you don’t believe them, do the same with your loved ones and friends.” If you do that you will find out whether you treat others as people or as nails. If you do the latter, then you need to make a change. – John Maxwell
Leadership takeaway – Consider how you react this week. Do you treat people as nails to be hammered? Or do you use velvet gloves in your interactions?